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Mono No Aware

by Culak

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1.
All We Have 04:31
Savoring this beauty before me A still capturing my brief time in peace Whether we bathe in the sun or the rain We lose ourselves in gifts of beauty It is all fleeting And if we don’t pause, we lose it all This is all we have So, savor it before it’s gone Before we’re all gone And I am so blessed to have shared them with you I hope to never forget all those times But even if I lose those memories in age I lived them I felt all of them And that is all I can ask for
2.
Yearning 04:46
What happened to me? I used to dream Now I can only see through things, darkly All around, life digs its claws into me Unable to lose myself in myself Bleeding away the bliss I just… I... I miss it The seriousness of a child at play When time would leave me alone to be When reality and dream weaved Into a wonder-filled life that felt right
3.
Only Way Out 03:12
We could be so beautifully wise Yet our fears and tears leave us deaf and blind As thousands of years before, thousands more will be the same The only way out is to understand, and it seems we can’t
4.
It never gets any easier Another day, another problem I get it Life tore you apart from the start All you know is to fend off the fear With a bitter knife to save your life We tell ourselves it’s not supposed to be this way Unable to accept and cope with the pain But let it go Let all of your wounds close And I’ll take life’s swings for you without a knife To show you how to embrace the hits Go ahead and drop your blade I promise you that there’s another way Look down into the knife And you’ll see what’s behind Peace cowering under bitterness
5.
All my life, creation’s been my home Where catharsis led me From childhood play to all the soundscapes I’m going to miss it Even though I’ll be long gone This keeps me around And even if no one ever hears this At least I put all of myself into something It’s all flawed one way or another But it’s real; why wouldn’t it be? Through all the joy and all the sorrow I’ve found beauty Even though I’ll be long gone I appreciate you And even if it all amounts to nothing I meant all of it
6.
7.
Sometimes my soul is too weak When it can’t bear the bitterness, it tries to flee There is nowhere to go when fleeing is leaving all you’ve ever loved I've learned from every mistake Yet it is not enough to keep the peace There is nowhere to go when fleeing is leaving all you’ve ever loved
8.
I couldn’t have known things would be this way Who I am, what I’ve done, all the ways I’ve changed Am I good enough? How long do I have? I can’t keep wasting my life in anxiety Whatever will be, it will be Might as well get used to uncertainty I’ll take firm hold of my wings But I won’t bother with where the wind takes me
9.
My sensitivity and fears weren’t always there All of them were broken into me, one by one You messed me up for the rest of my life But I don’t need spikes on my deathbed I forgive you It doesn’t matter whether you deserve it There’s just no life with hate in the heart And this life is all I have You messed me up for the rest of my life But I don’t need spikes on my deathbed I forgive everything
10.
Time always finds us, takes us Bittersweetly into the unknown Looking back, we leave ourselves behind I should have listened and loved All that beauty withered 'cause of me I am so sorry With the withering rose All beauty fades, and we’ll fade too We become ghosts with the rose And the artefacts of the artificers hold us all In our eternal home I’m just another ghost Thank you for the time I’ve had to live at all
11.
All I Am 02:12

credits

released November 20, 2022

Written, Recorded, Mixed & Mastered by Christian Culak
Artwork by Masahiro Hayata

Mono No Aware was written between July and September 2020

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Culak Texas

Of Song & Silence

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