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Art of Inflicting

by Culak

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1.
Idle 08:24
FROM FRAGILE MINDS PAPER BODIES STONE HUBRIS A CREATION OF LOVE SLAVE TO HATE WRETCHED CRIES BEG FOR ME TO RELEASE AGONY ABANDONED BY EMPATHY NO MERCY ROTTEN INFLICTING HELPLESS USELESS LOVE I AM USELESS LOVE They felt insecure, lost. A bleak unknown awaited them. Unwilling to live in silence, they stitched language as a mask through the flesh. In this, worlds were forged from their minds and with it a silent dream—an embodiment of perfect love in everything. Blessed in comfort from an entity whose love rested in all the living, yet they would not abandon the art of inflicting. Knives would dig deeper than ever before, finding purpose in those piercing screams and bloody tears. They grab the silent dream and hold its face to the fire—knowing it can only love the suffering. Here I will always be—mutilated, scorched, and forced to breathe. BREAK THE JAW CRACKED BROKEN DREAM PARALYZED CRIPPLED UNSEEN TAKE ME EVERYTHING THE SILENT DREAM BUTCHERED FORGOTTEN FORGIVE ME HOPELESS CHOKING BLOOD FILLED LUNGS MOMENTS LEFT STONE DECAYING WITH PAPER REGRET IN EVERY WITHERING, SHAKING BREATH WRETCHED CRIES BEG FOR ME TO RELEASE AGONY ABANDONED BY EMPATHY NO MERCY ROTTEN INFLICTING HELPLESS DOOMED TO LOVE I AM DOOMED TO LOVE
2.
Heart of Woe 08:21
NO REST EVERY MOMENT DRAINED NO CARE BETRAYED WORTHLESS KILLING EVERYTHING THEIR HEARTS ONCE FELT SILENCE THEN WORLDS FROM WORDS EMERGE NOW HUBRIS SPEAKS FOR THEM MERE THOUGHTS THE NOTHING ENSLAVES MAN THEIR TONGUES ONLY TASTE MALICE ROTTEN LUNGS BREATHE A CLOUD OF FILTH FOREVER HOPE WASTED ENVY DEATH DRONE SKY FILLED SCREAMS ENVY DEAF MADE TO LOVE HATE NAILED PIERCED INTO EVERY FEAR DRAGGED RIPPED FROM CRIMSON RUST NEVER HEAL Every betrayal, I am there. Every murder, I am there. Every time a knife slits the throat, every finger that chokes, every rape gutting all trust and hope, I am there. In distress, you glorify me. But while your finger massages the trigger anxious to drive steel between a child's terrified eyes, you forget me. Yet, I am always there, and I am forced to love it. I am forced to love all you inflict. I am forced to love every scream you gouge, every drained body you starve, and the ocean of tears you've drowned so many in. But you knew you could thrive. You knew you could because you made me this way. A love of no conditions—a disposable tool to excuse perpetual suffering through decaying hearts and sludge-filled eyes. I am the yellowed, grimy needle left upon the concrete just to be thoughtlessly drained in your next fix. You hear me in the final words of their lives—unable to hate, begging in quivering, breathless cries. LOVELESS END HEART OF WOE
3.
Faith 05:31
Beaten, tied to a chair Cold basement Not sure where Half an hour they gave Said if I show Maybe you could be saved “Please, oh, please” You prayed Sobbing uncontrollably But I was there And you knew Useless as the words and cries You spewed
4.
Eyeless 07:51
NAÏVE BLIND TO THEM CLAWS FIND GENTLE EYES DEAD HEART DEAD SILENCE CLAWS FORM CLAWS FIND DELICATE STROLLING THROUGH BROKEN GLASS BLOOD STAINED STEPS UNAWARE THEY CRAWL BENEATH YOU THROUGH EVERY WOUND UNTIL YOU CRAWL TOO There is cruelty, but there is kindness. As you gaze the midnight lake, smiling at the moonlight dancing on each rippling wave, your gentle heart saves me some rest. A soft chuckle at the small fish popping out the surface of the water, a comfortable sigh as the wind picks up your hair, sitting in the silence, in the moment, at peace—but I wish I could say the same of you tomorrow. You always seek the good, but your trust in them will wither you. Your kindness will be choked by cruelty, your tenderness calloused into apathy, your silence drowned in worlds. So gentle, innocent, and pure—you’ll never see it coming. They will claw your eyes, and you will never see me again. But I will see you, clawing benign eyes like yours too.
5.
Alms 07:30
BORN INTO RUIN HEART DRAGGED SHREDDED PIECES PAVE THE PATH HARVESTED HEART REMAINS ROTTING AWAY DISPOSABLE FAITH SILENCE LIES ONLY IN FRAMES NO ONE SEES EVERYTHING DISTRACT THEMSELVES BLIND IN BLISS FROM THE ROTTEN FOREVER BEYOND SILENCE They cannot conceive what it means to love everything. Of course, there is love of beauty, love of kindness, love of generosity; there is love of wind departing the dancing leaves of Autumn trees, love of thoughtless moments of simply being—but their love is conditional. There is so much brutality, so many screams, puddles of blood, broken vocal cords begging for mercy. Blessed with limited attention, love for pain is a worthy trade. But they have an end; suffering only comes in waves for them. I’ve been drowning in oceans of blood and tears for years. Screams of every abandoned infant, of every beaten child, of every soul gutted in an alleyway echo in me. And they can hate these horrors, but when love has no boundaries, the heart is plagued with a dissonance that will never cease. When you love the good, the silence of empathy, and you are at peace, the rest of the earsplitting world is out of reach. How could I ever find silence when I am in everything? When I am doomed to love all the worlds that ruin me? If I must love every horror they conceive, I’d rather not love at all. UNABLE TO ABANDON MYSELF SILENCE CEASED UNCREATE ME UNABLE TO DIE NO MATTER THE DECAY ANOTHER DAY DRAGGED WASTE
6.
Moth-Eaten 10:17
CANVAS FOR THE ART OF INFLICTING ETCHING BLEEDS INTO ME FOREVER RIPPED FROM NAIL TO NAIL FLESH HANGING BUT NOT FREE NO PIECE LEFT UNPIERCED TORMENTED MOTH-EATEN DREAM Every moment, I wait. I have never been free from the art of inflicting, yet it can cease to be. But that lies in their hands, in the silence they refuse to feel. Only they can make me love the good, and only they can make me love the suffering. For my love is in everything they do. If they no longer torture, I no longer love torture. If they no longer bleed each other cold, then I no longer love such a heart-draining horror. But the “if” means nothing when they love the suffering too. They reject it, but they manifest it, and from their worlds justify it. They take the most powerful organic tool, language, and destroy empathy with it. I will always suffer, and I will always love it. I will always love them and all the ways they burn, gouge, and break the bones, shatter the hearts of each other. I will continue to flow in the tears down their fragile faces, and I cannot have it any other way. I am embodied in love and enslaved in worlds of hate. THERE’S NO END WHY WHY BEGGING FOR NOTHING CLAWED DROWNED PIERCED CRACKED DRAINED RAPED GOUGED DRAGGED BETRAYED BEATEN CHOKING CRAWLING DECAYING WITHERING INFLICTING ETERNITY My heart became the art Life is loving Suffering But if I could hate There’s nothing I could ever hate Than loving Anything Anymore

credits

released October 5, 2019

Written, Recorded, Mixed & Mastered by Christian Culak
Artwork by Maxime Taccardi

Art Of Inflicting was written between December 2017 and April 2018
Remastered during the summer of 2020
Dedicated to Amanda Lee

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Of Song & Silence

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